Did you achieve everything you wanted to in 2005? If you fell short of your goals - or don't even know which direction you want to head in next - this is a perfect time to reexamine your personal and professional goals and decide where you want to focus your life in 2006!
"Though no one can go back in time and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending."
- Anonymous
Do you keep writing down the same resolutions every year, but never keep them? If you have a list of New Year's Resolutions that looks vaguely familiar to last year's list, I urge you to change your approach. I confess that I used to keep my list on the computer and for several years in a row, I would only have to change the date and print it out again! Does that sound like you? Are you fighting the same battles you always have? Don't let this cycle continue to repeat itself.
Forget about last year's failed resolutions! They were probably negative things you wanted to eliminate from your life - smoking, weight, clutter, debt, etc. This year I want to encourage you to focus on the positive things that you want to make room for in your life.
Consider this brief list of suggestions for positive change in your life:
- Practice being grateful instead of complaining
- Go to bed earlier and wake up feeling rested
- Aim to arrive early for appointments
- Read more and increase your knowledge of the world
- Take more baths and spend time alone every day
- Entertain more and nurture your relationships
- Shop and eat out of necessity, not emotional need
- Make a point of laughing more and practicing spontaneity
- Rise half an hour earlier to read a book, pray, exercise, scrapbook, take a walk, work in your garden -- anything that you've been putting off because you didn't have the time!
Perhaps you want to start with a healthy lifestyle that includes refreshing walks, plenty of rejuvenating sleep, delicious fresh fruits and vegetables to replenish your body's vitamins and minerals, stretches to increase your flexibility, and ample amounts of thirst-quenching water to hydrate your system. Close your eyes and envision yourself making these types of daily choices in your life.
If you're looking back on previous years' resolutions and realizing that you didn't keep your commitment to them, make this the year that you change! Break the self-defeating cycle. By mid-January, many of us have already abandoned our New Year's Resolutions, if we've even bothered to make them at all. However, don't discard the idea of setting resolutions because you have broken them in the past. Simply change your terminology. Making resolutions just sets you up for failure. Instead of talking about them as "New Year's Resolutions," refer to them as "my primary focus for 2006."
Project yourself into the future. What do you envision yourself doing, being, and having a year from now? Continually ask yourself if your current activity or decision is bringing you closer to or further away from what you want to accomplish. For instance, it's 8pm on a weeknight and you just plopped down on the sofa to watch a little TV in order to unwind. If your primary focus this year is to be more financially savvy, maybe your time could be better spent reading a book about personal finances. Or if your focus is to live in a clutter-free environment, you might be better off taking half an hour to sort through a drawer or a weeding out a bookshelf. Small, consistent changes make a powerful difference in our lives. And all these little decisions throughout the year add up!
Action Steps:
- List at least 10 things you are grateful for in 2005 (yes, last year). What are some of the fun and memorable times you had and people that you shared them with? What accomplishments did you achieve? What periods of crisis did you survive? What lessons did you learn? What treasures are you taking with you from the past year?
- List any unfulfilled hopes and dreams you had for 2005. Now let go of the disappointment and the guilt. Don't beat yourself up. Don't fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself. Leave it in the past where it belongs or you will be powerless to move forward in your life.
- Identify your hopes and dreams for 2006. What are you passionate about? What inspires you so that you can't wait to get out of bed in the morning? Aim for a list of 100 things that you want to be, have or do. You'll be amazed at some of the things that you write down. Hang onto this list. You'll want to refer to it again in later years.
- Place your list into categories (family, financial, career, spiritual, educational, physical, recreational, and volunteer opportunities).
- From this list, choose your single most important focus for 2006. What goal, if accomplished, would have the biggest impact on your life? Give a detailed description of how your life will be when you reach this goal. Do you want to exercise and eat healthy so you'll lose weight and look great or because good physical health and the ability to be independent in your older years are important to you? Whatever your reasons, they will act as powerful motivators for you.
- Identify the specific steps toward reaching this goal. Most resolutions fail because they are merely wishes. Without backing it up with a plan, it's not likely to happen. Identify resources and eliminate potential roadblocks to your success. If you set a goal without a realistic plan toward fulfilling it, it's just a dream. You need to have a clearly written out action plan for achieving your goals. Path Partners' new small group discussion guide, New Horizons: A Guide for Every Woman's Midlife Journey, outlines for you how to design a detailed plan of action to create the life of your dreams.
- Secure the support you need to successfully reach your goal. Support groups or personal coaching will help keep your life on track. A life coach or Path Partners support group will help you set goals and stick to them. Part of what makes both private coaching and Path Partners support groups work is the accountability -- knowing someone is going to be checking up on you. Lack of accountability is where most of us fail.
- Establish a way to evaluate your progress. Having an action plan is not enough. You have to track your progress to see if you're on target. Notice what is working and what is not. Continually make adjustments in your course. Acknowledge setbacks and just keep going. You don't need to wait until next January to start again. Each new day, in fact each hour, is an opportunity to start afresh.
The time to change your life is right now. You have the power to create the life of your dreams!
Enjoy the journey!
"If you don't have a vision of the future, then your future is threatened to be a repeat of the past."
- A.R. Bernard
Ask the Coach
Q. My friends are all getting plastic surgery and I don't have the money. I feel left out and wrinkled. Help!(Lisa B.)
Christine: Beauty comes from the inside out. A healthy lifestyle can do more for your appearance than most people give it credit for! Your body is an amazing mechanism. By ingesting foods that are rich in antioxidants, you can reverse years of free radical damage caused by smoking, eating processed foods, or leading an inactive, stressful lifestyle.
The Wrinkle Cure, a New York Times Bestseller by Nicholas Perricone, MD., explains how special "face-changing" foods can visibly alter the way you look in just 72 hours! He has plenty of other helpful advice as well.
Remember, however, that beauty isn't just a reflection of what's going on in our physical bodies. If you're living a happy and fulfilled life, it's going to show in your eyes and your smile. Women that are at peace within themselves and the world around them literally glow.
I'm not against plastic surgery if it's for the right reasons, but too many women opt for surgery instead of making the lifestyle changes that would bring about the appearance they're looking for without such drastic measures. Besides, you've earned those wrinkles!