Wouldn't it be nice if our lives could be magically transformed without having to go through the awkward, and sometimes painful, process of growth and change?
My kids are taking exams this week, and I'm hearing a lot of regrets over time wasted doing things other than studying. I have regrets too. Instead of grabbing every moment possible to focus on my goals, I've let other interests crowd out precious time and energy that I could have used to move me closer to accomplishing what I planned to do. But it's not too late!
Have you already broken New Year's Resolutions you made less than a month ago? It's not too late! You don't have to wait for another year to roll around to get back on track. You can do it today! Do you wish that you'd gone to college after high school and followed your dream to study music, engineering, or even medicine? It's not too late! Do you regret not taking that trip to Italy that you've always dreamed about? It's not too late! Do you lament the words you said to your spouse before walking out the door? It's not too late!
Take action now. Don't put it off any longer. Pick up the phone, fill out the application, make the reservation, write the article, take the next step - whatever it is - to move you forward toward the life that you want for yourself.
I have a confession to make. I'd love to be able to end this right there and let you go on your happy, merry little way, but I can't. You see, I'd be cheating you of some wisdom that I've learned along the way myself.
- You have to learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes. It's easy to beat yourself up and use your failures as an excuse for not picking yourself up and moving on. It's much harder to admit your weaknesses and face your fears head on. But as long as you live in the past, you're denying yourself the future that could be yours.
- You have to learn how to reach out and ask for help. This is hard for some people. I know because I've always had a very strong, independent streak in me. I was raised to keep my troubles to myself and figure them out on my own. But we can't always do things on our own; sometimes we need help - from a trustworthy friend or maybe even a counselor or a coach. Don't be afraid to let someone else into your life. It may be the key you need to unlock what's blocking you from being successful.
- You have to learn to let go of the need to do it perfectly. Perfectionism is at the root of most procrastination. You don't write the book because it's not perfect. You don't take the class because you're afraid that you'll look foolish. You don't eat healthy and exercise regularly because if you can't follow the program to the letter, then why bother? These are all lies that we tell ourselves. We've all heard the old adage, "Anything worth doing is worth doing right." Well, how about a new one that says, "Anything worth doing is worth getting started on!" We don't have to be perfect; we just have to do it.
- You have to learn how to stay focused. This is so hard because we tend to allow ourselves to get distracted so easily. A TV show comes on that we want to watch, friends call to invite us out, kids beg for our attention, and email messages offer a welcome diversion. Then there are the distractions that we don't talk about, the little habits that we've developed over the years to soothe our fears: the sugar high from a chocolate fix, the warm escape from a drink, the excitement from the attention of someone other than your spouse, the rush from a day of shopping at the mall using charge cards you can't afford to pay. What is your "fix?" What do you use to keep you from having to face the difficult task of taking the next action toward accomplishing your goals?
- You have to learn how to pick yourself up and get back on track. Ask yourself, "What small task can I accomplish right now?" Maybe it's cleaning out a junk drawer or a file folder, folding a load of laundry, writing the report you've been putting off, balancing your checkbook, scheduling the appointment, or even making your bed! Set your timer for 15 minutes and commit to working steadily until it goes off. The momentum you experience should propel you to the next small task and then the next. By the end of the day, you will have a whole list of accomplishments. With this success behind you, you'll now have the confidence and enthusiasm to tackle some bigger challenges tomorrow!
A woman recently wrote to me because she'd been ignoring the one thing that she felt most passionate about in her life: music. She had a dream of pursuing a career in music, but felt that she was uneducated, unqualified, and, I believe, unworthy of following her dream. She had spent her adult years raising her children and supporting her husband in his work. She thought it was too late for her, but I encouraged her to take the next step.
Do some research in your chosen field. Talk to people who are doing what you want to be doing. Decide what steps you need to take in order to reach your goals. Work out a realistic plan for implementing these steps. However, please don't misunderstand me: You don't need to leave your husband and children to pursue your dreams! You just have to carve out time from your schedule every day to invest in yourself and move you closer to your goals.
It's not too late!