Tina Turner once sang, "We don't need another hero." What do you think?
Like America's brave pioneers whose self-sacrifice, inner strength and courage paved the way for future generations, we are modern day pioneers - paving the way for future generations of women. We can become their hero - a role model and an inspiration to others.
What does it take to become a hero? You have to be willing to leave your comfort zone, to go out on a limb and try new things. You need to be willing to go places you've never been before, forge new friendships, and acquire new skills.
You don't become a hero by yourself. You find yourself a mentor and allies. You respond to some inner call that draws you to respond. And then, people and events in your life repeatedly attempt to discourage you, but you don't quit. You don't give up. You don't despair. You keep on going. You have faith that it is your destiny and somehow manage to get through the worst times of doubt.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
We must eventually come face to face with our fears.
Children have simple fears like the fear of monsters and fear of the dark while adults tend to have more complex fears such as the fear of commitment or the fear of confrontation. But behind all fear is the desire to avoid PAIN. Whether it's the pain from a physical injury or the pain of humiliation, we will do practically anything to avoid it.
Don't let yourself fall into this trap. Giving into your fears only serves to strengthen them. However, by repeatedly facing your fear, it will eventually lose its hold on your life. For instance, suppose you are afraid of flying. After facing your fear and flying time after time, you will eventually lose your fear of boarding an airplane. By exposing yourself to the thing that you're afraid of, it will lose its grip on you.
What does it take to step out in faith with no guarantee of outcome? In a word: Courage. Courage is the ability to confront fear, pain, and uncertainty. Like the Cowardly Lion, we need to find our courage. Unlike him, we know that we'll find our courage within us. Inside each of us beats a brave, fiercely courageous heart, willing to take on a challenge if it means that life afterward will be more authentic, happier, and freer.
Find the courage to begin something (a relationship, a business, or a family) without the guarantee that it will all work out perfectly. Risk feeling awkward, clumsy, overwhelmed, and embarrassed. Be willing to risk the pain of discomfort. It hurts to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone, but to achieve your goals and realize your potential, you must be willing to be uncomfortable - to do things that you're afraid to do.
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen
If you never experience fear, you can't learn courage. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to face it." Whether it's the courage to face a spouse's betrayal, a loved one's death, a parent's illness, a teen's rebellion, a job layoff, an alcohol addiction, or a child's disability, fear teaches you about yourself and what you're made of. If you aren't ever afraid, you're not learning to tap into the deep resources that are a part of you. You're not discovering your inner hero.
Helen Keller said, "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."
I recently watched "The Other Side of the Mountain" - a 1975 film which portrays the true-life story of Jill Kinmont, a shoe-in for the 1956 Winter Olympics until a tragic accident during an Olympic qualifying event left her a quadriplegic. She had experienced the thrill and adrenaline rush of racing down a snow-covered mountain, but didn't face her true fears until lying upside down in the hospital unable to move. After her rehabilitation, she went on to graduate from UCLA and earned her teaching credentials only to discover that discrimination against handicapped people was a much bigger challenge than qualifying for the Olympics.
How about you? What obstacles have you overcome in life? Persistence is really the only difference between those who finally overcome the obstacles in their path and those who just talk about it. Which one are you?
I have spoken with many women who have ideas and dreams - starting their own business, becoming a recording artist, counseling abused women, or playing in the LPGA. Their faces radiate with passion and joy when they talk about their dream, but it rarely translates to achievement because fear squelches the passion and immobilizes them.
Don't let fear dictate your choices and actions. Don't let your regrets take the place of your dreams. Become a participant in life and explore your potential.
"What if?" are two little words that can empower you or leave you helpless with worry. Ask yourself, "What if I succeeded?" rather than "What if I failed?"
"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself." ~ Kierkegaard
What dreams has God placed in your heart? What gifts are buried beneath your fears? Maya Angelou once said, "One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential."
Recognize your strengths and remember that we are heroes to the next generation. If this country is going to continue to be the great nation that it is, it will take strong, courageous women like you who are willing to step past their fears and make a difference. Dare to dream big dreams. Be a role model. Let your life shine!