A 46-year-old commercial real estate broker wants to turn her passion for watercolors into a profitable enterprise. A 38-year-old computer technology consultant wants to expand her business. A 53-year-old investment advisor is searching for more work-life balance so she can carve out the time to write the novel that's been marinating in her mind for several years.
How do these women turn their dreams into reality? A life coach. Since the early 1990's, life coaches have been supporting clients through transitional phases - changing careers, expanding a business, relocating, tackling projects, creating work-life balance - and achieving specific personal or career goals.
"A coach helps clients strive for and accomplish more than they would have done on their own," says Leslie Fiorenzo, a business coach and owner of Invest In People LLC. "We provide the tools, support, and structure so they can produce quicker results."
Unlike psychologists, therapists, or counselors, who focus on past issues, emotional trauma or abuse, a coach is focused on outcome. A coach will hold you accountable to your goals and keep you on track.
"Coaches provide a fresh viewpoint and reinforce the belief that the client can accomplish their goals," says Yvonne Prowant whose business Intentional Leadership LLC offers strategic planning and time management training. "It's like having someone in your corner, cheering you on."
Coaching is typically done over the telephone with email support, but it can also be offered in person one-on-one or in a small group setting. Some coaches provide a set "curriculum" of materials that include extensive and professionally produced assessments while others have developed their own materials based on individual client need.
When looking for a coach, it's important to find someone that you connect with and feel comfortable with, someone that you trust and believe instinctively understands your unique situation and goals. Interview several until you find one that is the right fit for you.
Coaching relationships can last for a few months or a year or more, depending on your needs. Most coaches, however, are eager to help you achieve your goals and not keep you dependent on them. You can expect to pay anywhere from $300 per month for weekly or bi-weekly sessions to several thousand dollars for a pre-designed package that includes a course curriculum and support materials.
To attain the highest benefit from working with a coach, be prepared to work hard and be fully committed to the process. "If you have the courage to be honest in your self-exploration and communications with your coach," says Fiorenzo, "you'll be amazed at the extraordinary life you'll create by achieving goals that are meaningful and significant for you."
Action Steps:
- Ask friends and colleagues who they have worked with in a coaching relationship. What did they like or dislike about working with this individual? Would they recommend them to you? If so, what is this particular coach's specialty?
- Is there a friend who you trust that would be willing to meet with you weekly or bi-weekly in a coaching relationship? (You can coach each other!) This must be someone who will ask you the tough questions - compelling, thought-provoking questions that guide you to your own solutions - and hold you accountable to your goals. Select someone with similar drive and ambition to yours. While it's not necessary for this person to have the same goal as yours, a commitment to the process is crucial.
- Form a "mastermind group" with other women who are on a similar path as yours. Set up a schedule and plan to meet together regularly to brainstorm about specific issues. Before each session, be clear about what you hope to accomplish and give everyone an opportunity to share and receive feedback.
No matter which of these options you choose, surround yourself with people who will remind you that you're capable and encourage you to "go for it."
Enjoy the journey!
Ask the Coach
Q. I am a 44-year-old mother of three and have been a stay-at-home mom for most of my 21 years of marriage. My daughter just graduated from high school and will be going off to college next month, but I still have a 16-year-old son and a 13-year-old son at home. I've always volunteered at school whenever I could, but I'm feeling like it's time to do something for me. My husband says that he makes enough money to support us, so he doesn't understand why I would want to work. I've always enjoyed cooking and baking, and have thought about opening a catering business, but how do I make changes in my life without upsetting everybody else? (Stephanie R.)
Christine: You don't...but your family will learn to adjust if you go about making these changes with some degree of sensitivity to the fact that they've grown accustomed over the years to having you around all the time anticipating their every need.
Perhaps, Stephanie, you might want to sit down and have a family meeting. Let them know that with your daughter going off to college, you're feeling like it's time to make some changes in your own life. Reassure your husband and sons that they are still just as important to you as they have always been, but that you need to carve out some time in your schedule to pursue your passions. You may be surprised at how supportive they'll actually be.
You mentioned that you're thinking about starting a catering business. I think that's a wonderful idea! Have you talked with other people that do catering? Go online and look for information that would help you in setting up your business. Check with your state government for a SBA (Small Business Administration) office in your area. Find a mentor that could help you navigate through this transition period. You might even want to consider working with a coach while you get your business off the ground.
It's very normal to feel that "something's missing" when you get to midlife. And often times a child leaving for college is the wake-up call that triggers this feeling in us that it's time to stop and reevaluate our life. Don't rush into anything until you've taken time to explore all your options. Once you have a clear vision for what you want to do, go for it! Don't let fear sabotage your efforts. Dream big and don't let anything get in your way!