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noidea
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« Reply #585 on: July 18, 2010, 08:07:43 AM » |
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I remember that day of my move like it was yesterday actually it's been about 9 months since the house was sold and I moved out. That day was NOT FUN at all so many memories and a real reminder of this MLC and how it destroyed my family. Do whatever it takes to stay busy decorate clean hobbies whatever it takes to help move on. I can say I feel somewhat better with time and tryin to stay busy with friends etc but this takes so much of who you are and how you live right to the brink.
Peace my friends
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49andlost
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« Reply #586 on: July 24, 2010, 06:28:59 PM » |
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Move is over...boxes everywhere
I completely lost it in front of her at our empty house as we were leaving... our D's were outside...not anger...pain and tears that I couldn't hold back. I have never had anything like that happen to me before...I could not stop crying for I don't know how long. I am mad at myself today for it.
This was one sad day...I hope that this was MY rock bottom.
49andlost
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My competitive nature wants me to win this battle, but only if that means I end up with a better partner, lover, friend...regardless of who that is. - Me
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DrummerN
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« Reply #587 on: July 24, 2010, 08:10:01 PM » |
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Move is over...boxes everywhere
I completely lost it in front of her at our empty house as we were leaving... our D's were outside...not anger...pain and tears that I couldn't hold back. I have never had anything like that happen to me before...I could not stop crying for I don't know how long. I am mad at myself today for it.
This was one sad day...I hope that this was MY rock bottom.
49andlost
49AL, You are mad at yourself for being human and having normal feelings of loss and despair? Don't sweat it... |
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Faithful Father
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« Reply #588 on: July 24, 2010, 08:46:22 PM » |
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Hey man...you mourned a perfectly reasonable loss of all that is sane. A great home, a great wife with great kids... This is all of our dreams, which is exceedingly possible when reasonable people are involved. But our aliens destroy this version of our dream...and there is ABSOLUTELY no shame in mourning the needless destruction of a family.
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Man of God, Faithful Husband (by covenant with God), and Father.
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Shell Shocked
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« Reply #589 on: July 26, 2010, 01:33:39 PM » |
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49,
I did the same thing when my storage unit was filled up. I looked around at all I once loved about our home, and wept. Someone has to mourn the passing of that life.
SS
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"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience."
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49andlost
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« Reply #590 on: July 30, 2010, 12:25:37 PM » |
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Well things are getting better... Still got boxes everywhere and plenty of work to do but it does feel good to move forward on this life. It does still feel like this has happened to someone else. Another month closer to divorce...what a concept  . 49andlost |
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My competitive nature wants me to win this battle, but only if that means I end up with a better partner, lover, friend...regardless of who that is. - Me
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49andlost
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« Reply #591 on: August 02, 2010, 06:11:45 PM » |
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Funny how you think things will be... Now that I am in my own house...on my own...no wife...I just knew I would want to date like crazy and "play the field" like the free man that I am now. So how come I don't want to even look at any woman as a date or someone to spend my time with? All I want to do is be by myself and do what I want to do, and not answer to anyone. Is this something you also have experienced? I am really kind of surprised  by my reaction to this single status. 49andlost |
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My competitive nature wants me to win this battle, but only if that means I end up with a better partner, lover, friend...regardless of who that is. - Me
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Bigdaddy4x4
Newbie
Posts: 26
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« Reply #592 on: August 02, 2010, 09:44:57 PM » |
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Is this something you also have experienced?
Ya very much so
3 months divorced.... living in a "drama free zone" LOVE IT
18 months of hell... now feeling the peace of God come over me
Life is Good... I Can be happy without her
BD
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Roger Wilco
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« Reply #593 on: August 02, 2010, 10:20:55 PM » |
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Indeed I feel this way. In the last six months of the marriage, I had one decent sexual encounter. Three months post-separation and I haven't even thought about sex. I think that's called being a well adjust human who grieves...not a crazy assed ho that looks for happiness from the first person who will date a still married/very recently separated person. Getting okay with yourself is a blessing.
Oddly enough, I could've fallen into affairs while I was still married to the woman who wanted to destroy me. It would've been a distraction. I understand how these women fall into the affairs but that doesn't make it right. It's only when you have the luxaray of solitutde that you realize how f-ed up your life got and how little you want to expose yourself to the next woman. And you really don't want to expose yourself because no worthwhile woman will date a guy one week into proper separation.
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Jim257
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« Reply #594 on: August 03, 2010, 08:06:16 AM » |
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Yep, it's kinda weird. For me though I want to want to be with someone but can't seem to do it if you know what I mean. I get lonely and miss having that special someone to confide in. Someone I can trust and just feel comfortable being around. I start dating a woman and very quickly lose interest. I'm going on 2 years divorced and still can't give them what they want. They all seem so needy to me.
A big part of me enjoys the freedom I have now and I just can't give that much of myself to someone but yet it really sucks some times coming home to an empty house. I hope that makes sense.
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Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
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Hurtman
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« Reply #595 on: August 04, 2010, 11:10:20 PM » |
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Makes complete sense to me, guys. I've recently experienced the same. I've been doing some dating lately, spending pretty good amounts of time with one in particular. Yet, I really sometimes can't wait for her to leave so I can have some "me" time. I found out over the last 3 years that I really enjoy my time alone, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. Never would have predicted it. I have always very much thrived being around others. I loved being married...having that special person there all the time. Weird how much of a loner I am becoming, but how comfortable it makes me. I think that confidence and comfort level shows too....hence my recent "attractiveness" to some women. They see it in me, and they like it. Don't sweat it 49, give yourself a break, and lots of time.
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49andlost
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« Reply #596 on: August 05, 2010, 02:35:49 PM » |
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Thanks for your responses and advice... This does feel right and I really don't want to lead anyone on only to create yet another victim in the MLC storm. I sure could use a "booty call", hell we all could right??? But emotions always seem to creep into those situations and I have nothing emotional to give anyone else. What a great arguement for prostitution, keep orgasms on a business level and no one gets hurt. Sounds to good to be true.... One day at a time right?  49andlost |
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My competitive nature wants me to win this battle, but only if that means I end up with a better partner, lover, friend...regardless of who that is. - Me
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49andlost
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« Reply #597 on: August 09, 2010, 05:47:08 PM » |
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Now she said it..."I am not sure this divorce is the right thing to do". The problem for her is that I don't want her back, not unless she does some serious work on how we got here. She had a EA with a woman that ended 5 months ago, she has not done anything to help her understand how damaging this woman was to her and to us. I don't want to go back to the way we were, hell I don't know if I want to go back at all...  I have been in IC since May of 2009, in that time I have made some tremendous progress...on myself...not my marriage. She has no idea what the hell she wants, she simply is scared now and is living life without the "security blanket". Oh yeah, apparently that was me too...GTFOH!!! 49andlost |
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My competitive nature wants me to win this battle, but only if that means I end up with a better partner, lover, friend...regardless of who that is. - Me
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Faithful Father
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« Reply #598 on: August 09, 2010, 06:25:48 PM » |
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These women have no clue what love is... And it continues to amaze me.
Finances isn't an exciting illicit romance, but apparently it means something to her--now!
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Man of God, Faithful Husband (by covenant with God), and Father.
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pexio
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« Reply #599 on: August 09, 2010, 07:46:58 PM » |
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49, Until she IS sure, one way or the other, and backs up her words with ACTION, then there is really nothing to concern yourself with. Talk means nothing. Let her deeds speak, brother. |
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