Hi Midlifer,
Did you manage to get to talk to Christine? I notice from your previous posts she was going to get in touch with you privately, which is a wiser option on this board. Also, there is this board run by another who has walked the path.
http://womeninmlc.lefora.com/I can identify with your agitation at the moment and although it might sound nuts, we are coming down from a full moon on Monday night. This is a time of higher agitation for us who’ve lost our stable foundations for a time. Worth considering.
The other thing you mentioned was ditching friends. In this time of turbulence, it’s really important to have a separate barometer than our feelings, in deciding which friends to keep and which to move away from. Also which information to trust and which to be careful of.
I’ve come to a stock standard measure about toxic friends. Similar to drugs, there’s uppers and downers. Downers bitch and moan along with you and can perpetuate your cage of misery, and Uppers latch onto your grievance and stoke your rage, indignance, judgmentalness and self righteous feelings. They are bad news. They super-impose their own unresolved conflicts onto your situation and vicarously live out their own anger and vengence. We must be particularly vulnerable to them.
The good friend will listen to you, allow you to cry and facilitate a quietening within you by encouraging you to look inward and reflect on your inner self without trying to explain the meaning of life according to them.
I know it feels counterintuitive to go inward right now when every cell in your body is wanting to break free and fly away, but I’ve been guided to stop still and go inward to allow my inner self to speak to me in the quietness. Many of the spiritual and prayerful cultures have these quietening rituals for life phase disturbances, so on that count it’s quite a sound road to take. But it takes an enormous act of will to reigne in the frantic agitated energies... I know!
